As I watch my children pull out Christmas decorations, it reminds me of my childhood. Did I drive my mom crazy too with my haphazardness in what I wanted to get out first? Once the tree is up, the kids want to look through their boxes of personal ornaments and see who can get their's on the tree first.
Then comes the nativity box which contains 5 sets of nativities and all the kids want to set their's up somewhere, but mostly the end up keeping them on the toy shelf and playing with them.
Then pack away everyday frames and nicknacks to make a room for Mom & Dad's nativity set. It's ironic how we have to make room for Jesus, just like so long ago in Bethlehem.
There's always the random fun things as well, like Ben modeling a fashionable treeskirt/manskirt...
and Jake serenading us all with a wooden recorder he found (and driving us a little crazy with it.)
Then it's time for our traditions....our Mary's Starpath. This tradition has been with us since our first kids were little. At the beginning of the Advent season, our stars are lined up as a winding path under our tree, big stars marking each advent Sunday and they lead to the wooden stable. Each night as we prepare to move Mary & Joseph to the next star, we light a candle and sing this song...
On the golden starpath walking,
Mother Mary travels far.
Brings to us the light of heaven,
Brighter than the brightest star.
Moonbeams shine for Mother Mary,
Bells of heaven sweetly ring,
All the earth is hushed to listen,
When the angel voices sing.
Soft her footstep on the starpath,
Stardust sprinkled in her way,
Mary brings to us the Christ child
Brighter than the brightest day.
Then the youngest children take turns taping the star passed onto our starry sky. Each advent Sunday we read a chapter from Mary's First Christmas. Another tradition we've done since the kids were little. It always makes me cry. Each Sunday, part of our nativity scene grows as well, one week I add the shepherds, one week the sheep and cattle, one week the wise men travelling across the room.
What would Christmas be without homemade gifts as well. It is one of my favorite memories from each year....sitting w/ a knitting project in my lap, while the other children are knitting close by and we listen to audiobooks like The Christmas Carol, Narnia series, and many others from Focus on the Family Radio Theatre. Here is a project I worked on, knitting up potholders then felting them so they would be tight. I love making these!
Another tradition we have is baking and making treats. I've shared already about the Christmas cookie challenge we did this year. I think that did us in for making sweet treats, so I decided to make Snowflake bread for our neighbors. The kids helped make it, they love to knead the bread, and then they delivered it late one night in the dark, down Crocus Trail to our five neighbors who bless our life day in and day out.
I used our much loved bread recipe and made it Snowflake bread by adding a cut snowflake on the top.
Today I am determined to write down what I'm thankful for, even if that's all it is - less or no pictures, no effort in trying to make it complete since the last time I took count of my blessings. I find lately that my life and thoughts are overwhelmed with frustrations and hurt, with small mixes of joy. I keep praying that God would give me the eyes and ears to see Him around me, to help me to see the blessings, but there is a strengthened foundation when I journal them in written form, otherwise they disappear with my next weary sigh. Tonight as I sat in BSF, these are the blessings I scribbled on a paper. Our lecturer said tonight, "Praise is the proper response of those rescued by God's grace." This is my praise to You Father! Thank you for rescuing me.
941. being asked to lead 40+ kids in worship at Ezone with Jake & Isaiah. No matter how weary I am, I never am weary of singing with joy and fun to my Father in heaven
942. being one in spirit with gangly 5th gr. boys, self-concious 4th-5th gr girls, rambuncous 2nd 3rd gr boys and sweet K-3rd grade girls.....having fun and yelling
943. seeing Jake serve and bless these kids at Ezone....he had a group of kids flocking to his table to play and watch Jenga...hearing Jake talk to them, encourage them, build them up, love them....then hearing in the van how much fun he had doing it - enough to make my heart burst!
944. God's Word...pure and simple...where would I be without it?
945. BSF....no matter how dry I sometimes feel the questions are, once at class - the opportunity to rethink, to ponder, to listen, to have a quiet enough space in my head to hear the Holy Spirit whisper into my heart things I need to learn
946. family gatherings....I so take for granted being at a family gathering and having love shared freely and the commonality that everyone loves the Lord....
947. each teenager who came to the Youth Worship practice...that they want to do something for the Lord....I pray that I can get past some of the critical things they say of the worship I lead and just gently guide them to grow in their walks in all areas of their lives
948. good report of my dad's health - most recent check-up - a negative PSA #!!!
949. my dad's smile TO me.....I love my dad's smile...he has permanent creases on his face where his smile lines are....but recently I stopped by their house to pick something up and my dad greeted me and something special happened....he said hello and I back and then I just grinned at him b/c he was so cute with suspenders on and he gave a grin back that I felt like was his joy at looking at me too....hard to explain....that he finds joy in me....
950. Allie....her kisses goodbye on Sunday as we drop her off after church....her hugs
951. Caleb & Sam Hodgson - for being such good friends to my girl, Maddie
952. unexpected hug from a friend
953. time spent up at Charis'....how I cherish our relationship
954. walks along Crocus Trail w/ Amy....catching up...trying to help one another get active...
955. MAC computer...(sorry window lovers)
956. unexpected phone call from niece and nephew to share with their aunt how God orchestrates events to fill his purposes...
957. coffee dates
958. songs we can't get out of our heads...."Grovel, grovel..." "Go go go Joseph You Know what they say"...."Joseph whatcha gonna do?".....(our nephew and niece were involved in a school play for Joseph & Amazing Dreamcoat and since then we've been waking up singing songs.... even at Thanksgiving with the extended family you'd hear a tune be sung randomly throughout the day!)
959. a person at church who always helps us tear down and pack up all the equipment....God has given me such a thankfulness for his quietness and servant's heart....how I can't look at him now without seeing him thru God's eyes!
960. kids playing tricks on one another....Nate came down one morning totally oblivious that his sibling had drawn a mustache on his face in the night....
961. fellow sister in Christ teaching me how to make homemade soap
962. being around happily married couples...
A student in Jake's History Co-op Class, shared this quote and it takes my breath away. How I want these words to flow from my lips and my children's lips and be lived out moment by moment.
"I’m a part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.
The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.
I’m a disciple of His and I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed.
My present makes sense.
My future is secure.
I’m done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.
I don’t have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded.
I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.
My face is set.
My gait is fast.
My goal is heaven.
My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear.
I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary.
I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.
I am a disciple of Jesus.
I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.
And when He does come for His own, He’ll have no problem recognizing me.
My colors will be clear for “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes…” Romans 1:16"
Don Ray, missionary to the Congo, 1940
I love the lyrics to this song by Lecrae. We may not be pop stars, but I find myself still being a "performer"....without knowing how I got there, I find myself "performing" and grieved by how quickly I can become the focus instead of Him. Let me be a trail of stardust leading to the superstar!
I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead
It's evident you run the show, so let me back down
You take the leading role, and I'll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs (Aye)
I don't need my name in lights, (Aye) I don't need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just going lose my soul?
And my ways ain't purified, don't live according to Your Word
I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard
So word to every dancer for a pop star
'Cause we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar
Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right
Praying the whole world would start embracing stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessin' That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact I'm who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar
I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead
Yo, I had a dream that I was captain of my soul
I was master of my fate, lost control, and then I sank
So I don't want to take the lead, 'cause I'm prone to make mistakes
All these folks who follow me, goin' end up in the wrong place So just let me shadow you, just let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in You, 'cause I only trust in me
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothin'
You pulled my card, I'm bluffin', You know what's in my hand
Me, I just roll and trust you, You cause the dice to land
I'm in control of nothing, follow You at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
And man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content
I'll play the background, like it's an instrument
I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead
I know I'm safest when I'm in Your will, and trust Your Word I know I'm dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain't got no time to play life's foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name? And it's a shame, the way I want to do these things for You, yeet Don't even cling to you, take time to sit and glean from You
It seems like You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it's 'cause she never heard of this
I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead
908. pumpkin patch graciously provided for community for free
909. technology that enables us to listen to Francis Chan messages and the eagerness amongst my children to sit and listen to him Francis Chan Sermons
910. Ben's first knitted hat (w/ a little help from me at the beginning and end)
911. long-time friends that fit together like a worn puzzle...guitars....bebe guns...bows...three-wheeler that won't start and determined friends who will push
912. beautiful carpet of leaves in the woods below and above
913. suprising my kids with having the Bakers spend the night...it's been a long time...coloring comics...building campfire and playing out in the woods...sleeping the whole night out in the tree fort for the first time ever!! (I did have pictures of it all, but my camera is dying and corrupted them - NOT something I'm thankful for)
914. friend-marathon-weekend ending with Landon & Colton and husband who took up the slack for me as I began to feel ill
915. the end of Isaiah's fall wooden bat league...taking first place....but more importantly having a Godly coach who not only taught Isaiah a lot about ball, but set the example of how to "let your light shine" in the midst of a game
916. Ben teaching Isaiah how to purl
917. the best part of homeschooling....being able to say, "Today we're not going to worry about Math or English or History. It is a beautiful day and today we're going to go out and enjoy what God has made"....
918. catching a glimpse of a mushroom shaped like a cross...
919. marveling at how soft moss is and how they don't all feel the same.....
920. spying this bright caterpillar....
921. spying a poof-ball and seeing how much poof we could create....
922. catching those moments I wish would never go away....coming over a rise and seeing the three boys sitting like bumps on a log, resting their weary legs....
923. fungus-laiden tree...bumpy and odd...but beautiful....
924. the brilliant colors God makes for our enjoyment....
925. making our leaf banner
926. Nate adding his "scroll" bark to the seasonal table, Jake's flowers, acorns
927. Isaiah taking his first deer - he got a 4 pt buck and because he gutted it, he earned the knife from his dad
928. witnessing in the courtroom, what we already knew in our hearts to be true, Skylar & Troy have found a HOME
929. the memories evoked by an bald man in an knit cap from my childhood
930. being able to help Mom & Dad prepare for winter out at the pond...thankful that they called us and gave us the opportunity
931. little ones dressed as cowboys....just wanting to play at Grandpa & Grandma's...imaginations flying as they play on the big tractor I used to play on as a kid and the old radio box
932. T.E.C. and how God uses it in the lives of my son, niece & nephew, and family friend...as we hear about their weekend with each other and God, it confirms how important it is that we are parents make wise choices about what our children do and how we choose to "keep ourselves busy"
933. Harrison's re-dedication to the Lord
934. time spent with Jake afterward at Culver's hearing how God has moved in his heart, thankful that he is vunerable before us and shares his heart with us
935. phone call w/ Charis - thankful for her and how she always encourages me to do the hard things for God and thankful that I know she'll be praying for me
936. blustery fall days, even though I know it means that soon the trees will be bare
937. my children and how diligent they are at school (some days)
938. Madeline getting up early like Mom and sitting at the table and doing her BSF...how sweet it is to see your children prioritizing time with God and starting their day off with Him
939. carving pumpkins for the first time in a few years, laughing at Maddie's expression when she feels the gunk inside, marveling that my youngest is now 7 and handles a sharp knife pretty well, the pure silliness of my eldest who is first done and then goofs around with his pumpkin making it talk and us laugh, and the creativity and uniqueness of each final product
940. conviction...having a repentant heart....that God never tires of me or misunderstands me....trusting in His character enough to know that the desert times or lonely times have a good purpose in my life....longing for Him
889. BSF and all that it means to my kids and me....delving into the Word with the vision and desire to know God more...hearing my children say how much they love it, love being in God's Word and how excited they are that they get to come tonight
890. chilly fall days
891. being able to enjoy the chilly fall days because we homeschool and we can all go out together and play
892. Grandma S. willing to step in our shoes for a couple days and care for the kids and get them to where they need to be, so Ted and I could go to a wedding
893. creativity of our kids...Ben wanting to sew or knit or do anything that equals CREATE
Here Ben is modeling his "Neck Warmer"
894. Jake's heart and attitude about his school load...he loves his Co-op classes, especially his history
895. time away to reflect on our family...being at a wedding seemingly surrounded by other parents who complain of trials of raising kids and seeing their preoccupation and love for an MSU game, I felt like a foreigner sitting at their table. I whispered many thanks to my Creator for loving me and knowing that to passionately seek after Him is more satisfying than any alcohol or earthly victory and thanking Him for the blessings of my husband and children and our life. It is beautiful and priceless to me.
896. going on walks and collecting acorns and brightly colored leaves
897. knowing...knowing deep in the secret places of my heart that God loves me and wants me
898. being reminded once again to extend grace and mercy to others, in light of how much I've been given
899. best buddies and Greenfield Village
900. loved ones voices raised in crazy rendition of "Happy Birthday to YOU!!!"
901. extended family...sitting next to sister as we study God's Word, other sister's voice covering the distance between us and reconnecting hearts and struggles....brother who shows up for family gathering...seeing Mom & Dad laugh...newborns and the slice of heaven they bring into ones' arms
902. Isaiah's decision to identify himself with Christ before family and friends. I couldn't help but imagine the rejoicing in heaven!
903. miracle of life...how can anyone hold a baby and not marvel at God's masterpiece? Addison Lynn Gorrell testifies to it!
904. tiny feet and toes cupped in weathered hands
905. once again to experience the car ride home from BSF with the children - hearing the cool things impressed upon their hearts and sharing my own
906. resting in the characteristics of God...it is like building my house on a rock...my heart cries, "I know...I know...I trust....I trust"
907. wrestling through in prayer the decision to serve in BSF...seeing my own sin issue of not wanting to submit to husband's leading, Holy Spirit peeling away layers of pride and revealing a servant's humble heart
