Double Nature

There is a double nature in all believers. Converted, renewed, sanctified as they are, they still carry about with them a mass of indwelling corruption, a body of sin. Paul speaks of this when he says, “I find a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind” (Romans 7:21-23). The experience of all true Christians in every age confirms this. They find within, two contrary principles, and a continual strife between the two. To these two principles our Lord alludes when He addresses His half-awakened disciples. He calls the one flesh and the other spirit. He says, “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

~ J.C. Ryle

Yesterday and today, I've been struggling with this reality.  And at the same time struggling against the enemy who whispers that because I struggle in this way, I'm a failure and unworthy.  Thank you Father for leading me to read this quote from Ryle this morning.  My flesh can be so weak at times and yet ironically loud!  Determining my value based on what others do and say, or don't do and say, has been the strife in my heart these past few days.  Thank you for the reminder that You know it's there, You do not condemn me for it, but that You are there for me to strengthen my spirit.  Holy Spirit do Your work in me this day and may I be more in tune to what You say, than the enemy. 

A Small Thing

Let us ever bless God that the Gospel sets before us such a Savior, so faithful to the terms of the covenant–so ready to suffer–so willing to be reckoned sin and a curse in our stead. 

Let us not doubt that He who fulfilled his engagement to suffer, will also fulfill His engagement to save all who come to Him. 

Let us not only accept Him gladly as our Redeemer and Advocate, but gladly give ourselves, and all we have, to His service. 

Surely, if Jesus cheerfully died for us, it is a small thing to require Christians to live for Him.

~ J.C. Ryle

I am struck by the last line....Jesus cheerfully - willingly died for me, what is it for me to live for Him....Do I live for Him or do I live for myself more?  When my life is over, what will be my testimony?  It grieves me to ponder how many times in a day I give Him no thought.  How dare I!  Father, may who You are - past, present, future - be revealed more and more in my heart and replace the stumbling realities of who Charli is.

Multitude Mondays

Gratitude is spiritual warfare.

1003.  worship practice before church this last Sunday....teaching Cheyenne, Natalie & Barb the motions for Days of Elijah....laughing, out of breath, worshipping God with everything in us including our joy and smiles....how blessed I am by this team God has placed in my life to love
1004.  worshipping with the body on Sunday, doing the Days of Elijah with motions and catching everyone off guard, but God sending one white haired man to say to me afterward that everyone loved that song and he was wishing we'd do it again....thank you Lord for that encouragement..... it reminds me of 2 Samuel 6:22 "Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes."
1005.  our first night of teaching guitar to the Grice men....Jake G. made me crack up because once he got a chord, he'd announce, "Okay got it." and sit back to wait for his dad to catch up.. while Steve would just give us a look of desperation and say, "My fingers are retarded."  It was so much fun!  It brings back all my memories of when I began to play and how uncoordinated I felt and I remember thinking 'I'm never going to get this!'  I was determined to teach myself back in 2008 while the boys were on a mission trip for a week....when they came home I was so proud of what I'd done and made them sit me playing 2 songs (we videoed it and still laugh at it!)
1006.  gotta list being able to watch Addison on here....my children just love her!  Isaiah and Madeline are first in line to hold her at any moment, even under the threat of spit-up.  Jake and Nate are just fascinated with her tinyness, her sweetness and Ben can be counted on to sit next to her and keep her entertained, love also how she finds her thumb, rests her blanket against her cheek and falls asleep.

1007.  last night - having no one to spill the junk that was circling in my head out on - at first it made me more sad, but then I grabbed my bible and turned my attention off myself and onto Him, until I drifted off to sleep
1008.  husband who loves me
1009.  God-loving cousins for Jake and my children who model and come alongside them
1010.  Jake's desire to serve at T.E.C. and dropping him off Thursday night...seeing the insecurity in him....but also seeing the dying to self in him so God can use him on the Wheat Team
1011.  going out to Culver's after dropping off Jake with Charis & Steve....laughing....sharing heartaches....silly conversations about farts, "I Remember Mama", burping, puppets and fart spray
1012.  trying to save my seat for my quiet time by leaving my bible in my spot, only to come back in the room and see Annie curled around it anyway

1013.  Nate's sweet journal entries.....all about Addison

1014.  being with Bakers at co-op, giggling and laughing

1015.  friends sharing ticket to circus and having a girls' night out with them

1016.  going to TEC and being blessed by a room full of teenagers who are in LOVE with the Lord and show it to each other and being able to sing Days of Elijah with them
1017.  Jake, pure and simple, how he holds me at bay thru anger and then in a quiet moment, without my pushing, shares his struggles and how God speaks to him in it - so reminds me of myself....Lord, if it's possible make him stronger than I ever was
1018.  Noah going to TEC this time and Chaney, sweet Chaney, leading Jake on the Wheat Team, sharing her testimony snd how she desires everything to line up with God's will for her, even the difficult things that are painful to go through and her decision to not date.

1019.  HUB body having fun in their worship with motions for Days of Elijah.....so cool to see!
1020.  Nate's way of asking if he can feed Addison - "Can I milk her?"  made us all laugh

1021.  BSF....God's Word...time in van with kids and we're all talking about how good it is, how beautiful the Bible is
1022.  sweet neighbor friends and traditions....going out for each of our birthdays to someplace mexican, margeritas, and catching up - Happy Birthday Kristen!!  33 - You are a babe (as in young!)!!!!
1023.  having fun dressing a little one in outfits tooooo cute!!!

1024.  talking with boys about the foolishness of this world....dating in middle school & high school, so thankful they look to God's desire for them above anything else
1025.  God's Word....simply brings beauty into my life....This past week I've been soaking in Isaiah 40 vs 6-8

"A voice said, "Shout!"  I asked, "What should I shout?"  

"Shout that people are like the grass.  

Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers of the field.  

The grass withers and the flowers fade beneath the breath of the Lord.  

And so it is with people. 

 The grass withers and the flowers fade, 

but the word of our God stands forever."

Eager, Expectant, and Early

I watched this and thought of our church in so many ways.  If you showed up at 10:30 a.m. (which is when church is to start), you'd see 2-3 families there.  At 10:35 or 10:40, our chairs would be almost full.  I agree w/ Josh Harris, it says something about our hearts.  Also last week at a church meeting we talked of trying to start a prayer time for corporate prayer, so when Josh started to speak of that it was as if I was meant to watch this and to share it with our pastor.  And then I'm meant to pray for a change in our local body.

Eager, Expectant, and Early from Covenant Life Church on Vimeo.

Don't Want to Waste My Life by Lacrae

I just love this song....Enjoy!  (helpful to have the words too)

Tied Down by Edgar A. Guest

"They tie you down," a woman said,
Whose cheeks should have been flaming red
With shame to speak of children so.

"When babies come you cannot go
In search of pleasure with your friends,
And all your happy wandering ends.
The things you like you cannot do,
For babies make a slave of you."

I looked at her and said: "'Tis true
That children make a slave of you,
And tie you down with many a knot,
But have you never thought to what
It is of happiness and pride
That little babies have you tied?
Do you not miss the greater joys
That come with little girls and boys?

"They tie you down to laughter rare,
To hours of smiles and hours of care,
To nights of watching and to fears;
Sometimes they tie you down to tears
And then repay you with a smile,
And make your trouble all worth while.
They tie you fast to chubby feet,
And cheeks of pink and kisses sweet.

"They fasten you with cords of love
To God divine, who reigns above.
They tie you, whereso'er you roam,
Unto the little place called home;
And over sea or railroad track
They tug at you to bring you back.
The happiest people in the town
Are those the babies have tied down.

"Oh, go your selfish way and free,
But hampered I would rather be,
Yes rather than a kingly crown
I would be, what you term, tied down;
Tied down to dancing eyes and charms,
Held fast by chubby, dimpled arms,
The fettered slave of girl and boy,
And win from them earth's finest joy."

Edgar Guest is a poet that my dad cherishes and I love his easy poetry as well. Each day this is where I want to be....tied down to my home, to my children, to our homeschool. It is earth's finest joy!

Who am I?

“Satan accuses Christians day and night. It is not just that he will work on our conscience to make us feel as dirty, guilty, defeated, destroyed, weak, and ugly as he possibly can; it is something worse: his entire play in the past is to accuse us before God day and night, bringing charges against us that we know we can never answer before the majesty of God’s holiness.  What can we say in response? Will our defense be, ‘Oh, I’m not that bad?’ You will never beat Satan that way. Never. What you must say is, ‘Satan, I’m even worse than you think, but God loves me anyway. He has accepted me because of the blood of the Lamb.”  —D.A. Carson, Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus

How quickly I can go down this road, buckle under Satan's accusations.  When I read this it makes me burst out in a grin because I just visualize Satan's face after the last line!  Sucker!!!

Who Do I Serve?

Sunday, our pastor started our worship time with this video.  So easily we forget who He is....who He has been throughout the generations.  He is the great I AM.

Multitude Mondays

984. encouragement on Sunday that God is using this weak, sometimes ridiculously transparent child of God to lead others in heartfelt worship
985.  time on phone encouraging my sis and hearing her heart for the church
986.  my kids who laugh at my goofiness and even expect it, how they know when I come up to hug them I'll have to throw in a few pinches and "touky touky" phrase
987.  Wiiiiiiiiiiiii and more importantly the time spent playing it as a family - laughing
988.  another Christmas with my family - seeing how they treasure our relationships more than gifts
989.  Jake's effort in gifting Ted and I for Christmas with letters from family, friends, church members telling us how we're appreciated and loved
990.  our baby niece, Addison, and how sweet she is and watching all my children love her in caring for her - even the boys....they will make great fathers!

991.  the Grices coming to church each week with Allie now....totally makes my heart overflowing with joy and praying that God will continue to draw them to Himself and that we may be a part of it
992.  Allie's hugs and kisses every Sunday
993.  a friend who forgives me even after I neglect my duties in caring for her sweet one after school one day - sooooo thankful that God cared for her when I forgot to pick her up from the bus stop and that He didn't let my lack of brains destroy a beautiful friendship
994.  homeschooling....what can I say....it is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given me...knitting our family together through bad and good days
995.  being able to guide the Youth Worship Team at our church, loving each teenager and for God letting me challenge them to love Him with everything they have

996.  Mr. S from church...and how God has blossomed a friendship there
997.  Deezer and how she makes me laugh....time spent visiting with their family one Sunday after church....I cherish their friendship because there is no need for walls or guards
998.  another TEC opportunity for Jake....for God to grow him in his prayer life and to show him his comfort is not found behind a guitar, but in Christ alone!
999.  hanging out with Amy H. as the kids played...being able to catch up and stay connected
1000.  this gratitude list....Ann VosKamp and her challenge to all to count your blessings that God has given you....it has changed my life - my attitude - my hope.  Today marks the 1000 mark!!!

1001. traditions...where would we be without them....New Year's Eve with Baker family, New Year's Day with Townsends - passing the rubber chicken along and playing games together - laughing and marking another year of memories
1002.  God, my sustainer