Savoring God's Goodness to Me

Sometimes I feel like I can savor God's goodness to me...like I savor bacon ranch breadsticks from Tom's Pizza...or a Hersey Kiss as it melts in my mouth...or a much needed hug from my husband that just engulfs me.  Last night was one of those nights.  I did my BSF lesson and no "lightening bolts" or epiphanies occurred, went to BSF with my kids and went into my discussion group.  We were studying Isaiah 58 and 59...and came to the question about these verses...

v6 No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free and remove the chains that bind people.  Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and no not hide from relatives who need your help. 

And the Holy Spirit set to work on my heart, removing the scales from my eyes to see more.....if I had to describe it in words, it would be like magic in movies....how the words "imprisoned" "burden" "remove the chains" "hungry" "food" "homeless" "shelter" "hide" "need help" leapt off the page in brilliance and became more than the simple eye sees.  I began to think of those around me that are imprisoned and burdened by chains not visibly, but spiritually.  I thought of those around me who are soo hungry, not for tangible food necessarily but the food I was feasting on - God's Word.  I thought of those around me who are homeless, who don't seem to fit in at church like me and who need God's shelter so desperately.  I thought of how I "hide" from people who need my help - need me to be His LOVE.  I began to jot down those things next to those verses, so as to not let the Holy Spirit's teaching be lost in my daily life.....

Then we went into lecture and again, it was nothing spectacular that Vonnie said (even though she is an awesome teacher), but it was the spectacular work of the Holy Spirit, God's Word and a teachable spirit.  Isaiah 59 went on to say,

"It's your sins that have cut you off from God", 

and where my eyes had been blind before, the scales fell off and I just sat there while Vonnie lectured and pondered the truth of those words in my life.   Do I want to EVER be separated from God or cut off from Him?  Where do I fool myself in not recognizing that every aspect of my life AFFECTS my relationship with God?  Then I took a hard look at my life and all the "relationships" in my life that my sin (my hurt, my anger, my insecurity, my envy, my jealousy, my offense) slips into, which then cause me to react usually by withdrawing and then a rift starts to grow not only in those relationships but also in my relationship with God!  I sat there and filled out a whole notebook page listing areas where my sin creates chasms and then just sat there and wanted to cry at all the distance I was blind to between me and God.  It was a visual of vs 12

"For our sins are piled up before God and testify against us."  

My head (this world...the deceiver) tells me that in those human relationships, I'm doing the best I can and more readily acquiese to the consequences - the distance from people, but when I see them in the light of what it causes between me and God I cannot continue on the same path - I cannot - will not let the Deceiver blind me to the whole truth.

I couldn't wait to get in the car, to hear how God spoke to my kids this night, to share with them how He spoke to me and to seek their forgiveness for spewing poison within their hearing so many times....in my critical comments of others.  In the end I told them, "I love BSF and I think it's a great TOOL, but IT's not the GREAT thing....GOD is the GREAT thing....seeing how the HOLY SPIRIT TEACHES this stubborn heart takes my breath away....experiencing the WORD of GOD coming ALIVE and jumping off the page in brilliant light is the thing that makes me want to shout from the nearest hilltop and tell everyone I see how GREAT HE IS!!!!!"

1000 Gifts and Counting.....

1076.  gazing into Addison's eyes while feeding her a bottle - like a gift from heaven amidst all the things to do

1077.  family of bluebirds spied by Nater, kids clustering around windows to see
1078.  blood-red capped woodpeckers
1079.  cooing coming from living room
1080.  girl fingers gently coaxing a beautiful melody from an old piano

1081.  kids sprawled out in bedroom as we discover what heaven will be like for us and those we love (reading Heaven for Kids by Randy Alcorn)

1082.  Isaiah 46: 1-2....Word revealing how idols are a burden and go with me right into captivity....v 3-4  that the true God carries me and saves me....the thought coming to my mind that he carried me on the road to Calvary
1083.  BSF - reminder that God is true to His word - so I can trust Him in different situations and there can build Euchristeo to see His Hand all the time
1084.  busy friend who sacrifices more of her precious time to help me get oldest boys to art
1085.  carmel mocha coffees to waken me on car drives
1086.  heart that seeks to apply - seeks to see faults and areas to grow every time I look in the Word - tender heart - for so long I felt it was a burden to have and made me "less" than everyone else.....I appreciate it now
1087.  discipline kids have to "attack" school in order to be done earlier
1088.  baby Addison's smiles and cooing
1089.  pain in knee getting better
1090.  remembering moment we realized we'd never see our dear 7 year old friend, Jeremiah, on this side of heaven again
1091.  heavy heart for Coopers that intensifies as I read through long-awaited letter...realizing how much I miss her "voice" in my life...you cannot capture that in Facebook or emails
1092.  Isaiah 49:4  "I replied, But my work seems so useless!  I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose.  Yet I leave it all in the Lord's Hand; I will trust God for my reward."....I was struck with how these could be my words all the time as a mother, or as a worship leader, or as a friend....but they are Christ's words!  All I need to do is follow His example.
1093.  children lost in a world full of history and God's faithfulness.....The Devil's Arithmetic by Jane Yolen

1094.  fat, stubby 7 year old hands....worn by the sun and dirt contrasted with soft, wrinkley 6 month old feet

1095.  the passages of life....loosing one's baby teeth...won't he always be my baby?  I think that of each of them!

1096. two cutsie-patutsie girls

1097.  Dr. Hart, her gentleness and attention to Nater who has strep once again

1098.  Ben-Jammin making lunch for family and when I suggest we should assign each older boy a day they must make lunch, he responds with a quote from Nacho Libre which makes me laugh....."They make me cook the stew and stuff and they don't even give me money for fresh ingredients."

1099.  Is there a gift in how obvious it can be when one guitarist is adored and the other is ignored?  I'm looking for the gift even though it hurts.

1100.  weariness and rest

1101.  listening to worship team share God-sightings in their lives thru teachings....pennies on the ground....lottery ticket winnings enough to provide food the remainder of the week....scripture speaking truth into my life

1102.  learning experience for Jake & Dysart boys in the Dansville Talent Show....to not rush themselves, setup until comfortable

1103.  words spoken by Jake before their song, "Broken Mess" to a gym of unexpected people....sharing the story of Hosea and his prostitute wife and how it parallels God's love for us

1104.  mother's heart that just wants everyone to see/hear what her kid can do - God teaching me it's not about his talent, it's about his heart - what he's willing to say in front of a crowd - how he's willing to proclaim the Lord's name unashamed.  Forgive me Lord for my wrong focus once again

1105.  daily reminder of how imperfect I am 

1106.  struggles at church for me.....constantly questioning what God is doing with having me lead worship....questioning why after 7 years at this church I still feel like a freak and as if no one wants to connect with me, even though I try so hard to step out and show interest in others.....then how God spoke thru BSF lesson this week....God is the only TRUE source of SECURITY....What do I hold onto?  What is my "blankee?"  What would it look life if I actually trusted God for my security?  All of it reinforcing once again that I need to walk in obedience, be a light, be an example of someone sold out for the Lord, despite the returns...

1107.  quiet house again Sunday pm as kids all left with Ted - it always strikes me first as a sign of my unimportance, but quickly it turned to an enjoyable time that I could putter with pictures and read blogs and download Ray Vanderlaan lectures to listen to

1108.  focus this week in worship at HUB....Hosea 6:6  I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices.  I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings.

1109.  laughing at kids' silly expressions and ramblings 

1110.  quotes that make me laugh...."they think I don't know a butt-load of crap about the gospel, but I do!"  (Nacho Libre)

1111.  battling the constant attack/whisper "What is it about you that keeps people away?"

1112.  unable to escape cloud of "God's forgotten me...I'm overlooked or un-encouraged"....walk in the doors of BSF with this struggle and leave totally different.....felt encouraged thru Gina reaching out to me with words of understanding...I'm not ODD and thru Vonnie's lecture from beginning to end

1113.  warm spots on living room floor where sun beats in and dogs rest

1114.  listening to my dad's voice over phone as he answers Nate's questions about his childhood and then getting to watch him draw Spencer Tracy for Nate's notebook

1093.  thankful that I followed Holy Spirit's leading to invite a family over for dinner after church.  After they left, we were all struck with how we take for granted God's blessings in our house (which they called a mansion),  our dinner (which young boy asked if it's like this all the time), and our peace and joy in each other

Daily Food

The time our family spends together in the morning, after satisfying physical hunger, letting the Holy Spirit fill our spiritual hunger through the God's Word is a blessing to me time and time again.  We have to purpose to carve out this time, it doesn't naturally come or happen and in fact, for about 1 week, we had let it fall aside as we pursued worldly goals. 

This morning we returned our hearts and faces back to Him upon rising and were overwhelmed with His love.  We read from 2 Samuel 7, which tells the story of how David, after being established comfortably as king, sought to build the Ark a beautiful dwelling.  He asked Nathan, the prophet, who gave him the go ahead, but then after hearing from the Lord, came back to David and told him that God said no.  Then David responded by going off and praying to God and thanking Him.

After we read a passage, we always ask ourselves, "What do I see in this?  What can I learn about God, about others, about myself?  What is the Holy Spirit trying to teach me in this?"

The first thing that we noticed, is how cool it was that David - in the midst of "good times", living in a beautiful cedar palace, resting - still had God's pleasure as his focus.  He knew where his blessings were coming from and wanted, longed to do something in return for God to show him the depth of his love for God.  The Holy Spirit questioned me, "Charli, how often do you react like that?  When life is good, do you keep God first in your life, or do you start to take for granted that things will be good and let your quiet times slip by or slack off on seeking Him, knowing Him, pleasing Him?"  It was a challenge to our whole family to never stop seeking Him.

Then Dad pointed out how God responded just like a parent.  "That's okay....I don't need a grander temple right now..."  He saw how parents sacrifice for their kids to have things or do things, knowing that there will be a time in the future when things will change.

I was really struck by David's response to God's "No".  David didn't get offended that God turned down his idea sparked out of love.  How many times to I do that, with God or with those around me?  When I think I have this great plan to do something and how it stems from love, but people don't receive it or God seems to shut the door on it, I tend to respond in offense.  

We then turned to read out of 1 Chronicles 17 and I prefaced it by telling the kids that it's going to be a retelling of what we just read in Samuel.  So in our minds I wonder if we were all "checking out" and not expecting any new revelations, but then God does the unexpected and speaks right into each of our hearts.  I read it aloud until the magnitude of the words caught in my throat.

Read it aloud, let the words become your words, like I did this morning....

"Who am I, O LORD God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?  And now, O God, in addition to everything else, you speak of giving your servant a lasting dynasty!  You speak as though I were someone very great, O LORD God!  What more can I say to you about the way you have honored me?  You know what your servant is really like.  For the sake of your servant, O LORD, and according to your will, you have done all these great things and have made them known.  O LORD, there is no one like you.  We have never even heard of another god like You!"

We sat there, with tears streaming down my face, identifying with the heart of David.  The LORD God knows Ted, Charli, Jake, Isaiah, Ben, Maddie, Nate.  He speaks of us as if we were very great.  He honors us by wanting to be in relationship with us.  He knows what each of us is REALLY like, deep in our hidden hearts.  Yet HE does everything in our lives to bring about His will.  There is no other god like HIM - not money, not possessions, not food, not relationships, not the good opinion of others.  There is no other god like the LORD God!

Cast Your Anchor in the Bible

Let the Bible, the whole Bible, and nothing but the Bible, be the rule of our faith and practice. 

Holding this principle we travel upon the king’s highway. 

The road may sometimes seem narrow, and our faith may be severely tried, 

but we shall not be allowed greatly to err. 

Departing from this principle we enter on a pathless wilderness. 

There is no telling what we may be led to believe or do. 

Forever let us bear this in mind. 

Here let us cast anchor. 

Here let us abide.

~ J.C. Ryle

Speaks in Our Defense

It never ceases to amaze me, how in the mundane grind, God speaks truth into my life....gives me joy....gives me light to hold onto!  This past week, as I was helping Nate with his BSF lesson, I was reading aloud to him from 1 John 2:1-2.....

But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. ²He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 

Immediately, I was captivated by the words... we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.  Most days I get so caught up in the "truth" here on this earth that the enemy loves to flaunt in my face, the "truth" that I've failed once again, the "truth" that I'll never be good enough, the "truth" that I'm unworthy of Christ's love.  And in the scenario here, I am guilty and I would be the first to confess that.  

But what the Holy Spirit reminded me that day is that I focus too much on the earthly focus and don't spend enough time focusing on the drama that is going on daily, hourly on my behalf.  Every time I screw up down here, the accuser is pointing my failures out to my heavenly Father, but before the accusations are even out of his mouth, Jesus...the Righteous One....the One who endured excruciating pain and death for me and you...the One who has an unfathomable love for me....stands and comes before the Father on my behalf and defends me....reminds Him that my sins have been paid for with His blood and that I am now hidden in Christ!  Who can understand it?!  But how the thought of it makes my heart soar on days the accuser wants it to sink!  

This image has also grieved my spirit too and caused me to "check" my tongue, my actions, my life....To think that I remind Jesus daily, hourly of my lack of appreciation for what He's done for me by sinning....I envision it like a knife into His heart, to realize I know what He's done for me and yet still choose to sin!  May the image of what goes on in heaven on my behalf be burned into my mind each day and stop me when I'm on the course of sinning.  Scripture, so small, and yet so powerful to move my heart and change me day by day! 

The LORD your God

Family in jammies, heads bent over bibles as I helped Nate track Ted reading from Deuteronomy 7 & 8.  Some think the Old Testament is hard to read, but I love it.  As I listened, Moses said (with a Ted accent) time and time again, "the LORD your God".  In fact, in these two chapters he said it 25 times!  I began to contemplate why did Moses say it like this?  Why didn't he just say "the LORD" or "God"?  Why did he connect "the LORD" with "your God"?  

And this is what the Holy Spirit spoke into my soul, Moses was trying to get the people to grasp that the LORD whose name is unspeakable, comes from YHWH - his personal name that was considered too holy by the Jews to even utter, this same LORD is my God!  And I thought of the love I felt for my husband before we were married and how I looked forward to the day of our wedding when I could then say he was my husband or to the day when my first child was born and I could say this is my child.  That claim, that honor, that right should be magnified when I think of who my God is!  How many times have I read the phrase, "the LORD your God" and it didn't take my breath away??  This morning it took my breath away and brought a huge smile to my face!  And not only to mine, but to my children's.... Jake, this is the LORD your God....Isaiah, this is the LORD your God....Benjamin, this is the LORD your God...Madeline, this is the LORD your God....Nathaniel, this is the LORD your God!!!!!

Family in jammies, heads bent over bibles as we looked for and circled the phrase, "the LORD your God".

Gathering My Manna

I just love J.C. Ryle quotes! They are so challenging and simple. If you like them too, you can subscribe to them at  http://jcrylequotes.com/

“Read the Bible daily.

Make it part of every day’s business to read and meditate on some portion of God’s Word.

Gather your manna fresh every morning.

Choose your own seasons and hours.

Do not scramble over and hurry your reading.

Give your Bible the best, and not the worst, part of your time.

But whatever plan you pursue,

let it be a rule of your life to visit the throne of grace and the Bible every day.”

~ J.C. Ryle