Becoming One

50 years is a long time...A long time to wake up to the same person every morning, a long time to recognize things that bother you and have the maturity to either communicate your feelings or accept how your spouse is, a long time to die to self and love instead. That is what we celebrated yesterday - 50 years that Mom and Dad have fulfilled the scripture from Genesis 2: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to be his wife, and they will become one flesh."

When I met them, they were still working out that whole idea of "becoming one", but it was during a rocky time. I remember them being on the verge of divorce, separated and the future of their family seemed destined for what so many families struggle with today - DIVORCE. But as they said yesterday, through their faith and determination, they chose to love each other and our children are blessed because of it. Through their 50 year marriage and the relationships they value with their children and grandchildren, they are a living testimony that love never fails - not THEIR love, but the love God's given them.

Yesterday was a beautiful day to watch them, two people who are closer than they've ever been to "becoming one". We don't really have the maturity to understand that idea when we first get married, but every time we go through a difficult stretch in our marriage yet still choose to love, the idea becomes clearer and clearer.

Many friends and family who have been a part of Mom & Dad's life together came to celebrate with us. Dad shared a very sweet story about how every big event in their lives has given him so much happiness, he has been brought to tears. (It brought Mom to tears and many in the room.) Some were brave enough to stand and share their thoughts with everyone, like Mark Manning and Travis O'Bryan, but I know everyone there was pondering what the milestone of 50 years of marriage truly means. The Deacon from St. James Church was also there to bless their marriage. Then all were entertained by songs from Neil Diamond, Elvis Presley and Tom Jones.
I am so thankful to Mom and Dad and so honored to call them that. I was sharing with Dad yesterday, my memories of the early years in their family and how rocky I remembered things were between them. That is something I share with my kids as well, because I want them to know people struggle in marriages and yet choose to stick it out, just like their grandparents. When I was talking to Dad, he was watching Mom walk and commented, "Her foot must be bothering her" and I thought how sweet that was. He said it with caring and love - he knows her - she knows him - they know each other's bad habits, good habits, and secrets. They are becoming one. It is a blessing and joy to be a part of their lives and watch that happen.

Conviction and LOVE

I am so thankful for God's conviction, for the Holy Spirit that nudges my heart and opens my eyes to my sin and lack of love. Today, God has been pressing in on that theme for me and I find my heart responding to His gentle whispers. He has used books I'm reading, like Crazy Love, and His Word, my prayer times, and my daughter, Maddie, to peel off a layer of excuses I've given to justifying my lack of love for two young people this past weekend.

This past weekend, our family camped with our extended family. Without going into great detail, there were two additions to the group, two young people who've had hard lives, don't know Christ and need His love so desperately. I tried to focus my thoughts in this way going into the trip and I wanted to be God's love to them, but I'm ashamed to admit that there were many times over the weekend I just "felt" annoyed by their neediness and the intrusion.

This is where I want to share how God put into practice Matthew 18: "He called a little child and had (her) stand among them. And he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.....And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."

My Maddie is a very sensitive soul - one who listens intently to the Holy Spirit's conviction and responds without fail. On the trip, something happened which she felt bad about and she felt she needed to confess to her Grandpa. Even when I tried to assure her that it was a harmless mistake and Grandpa didn't even know, she insisted she had to tell him she was sorry. As I stood and watched her confess to her grandpa, I felt so pleased with her heart and knew God was pleased with her too. And at the same time I wondered what God thought of my heart and my resentful attitude towards the two young people? But I brushed it aside, telling myself, "They have no clue of my inner thoughts - I've been kind on the outside". Yet, even after coming home, I felt disappointment in myself grow and things I read in my quiet times only confirmed the conviction that I had failed.

From Crazy Love: God's definition of what matters is pretty straightforward. He measures our lives by how we love....But Paul writes that even if "I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Cor. 13:2-3) Wow! Those are strong and unmistakable words. According to God, we are here to love. Not much else really matters.

I shared my grief and conviction last night at Bible Study with a couple of women and I was troubled by how they wanted to assure me it was okay and normal to feel resentful, just like I tried to assure Maddie that she was okay.....But I don't want to excuse away my sin, just like I know Maddie didn't want to. I want to listen to His voice when He corrects me so I can be closer to Him and I want the same for my daughter, my friends, my extended family. I rejoice in the conviction!

For the past few months, God has been impressing this message of love on my heart. Does He do that with you too? Continually point you in different ways to the same core point? I see it in every aspect of my life and in every difficult situation I'm in...He is telling me to LOVE. Sometimes when I've shared that, I've felt as if those listening disregard it because it is so basic or they think it is oversimplifying the problem. But isn't God's Love the answer to every situation? Not my earthly love, but His Love given out through me? What would that have looked like this past weekend? What does that mean? I have to keep going back to scripture for understanding....

Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends....
faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13

Traditions...

I love traditions, always have, both big and small. I think traditions gave me security as a child, even if it was as small as the large Bible on one of our coffee tables. I think traditions also gave me something to expect and look forward to as a kid, such as annual camping trips. As Ted and I've been building traditions into our children's lives, I become more and more aware of how much joy, expectation, comfort, and love they bring to my children. We recently drove home from a 4 day camping trip with the Sinnaeves and I pray that it is something we do every year because our family ties were strengthened by the trip.We camped at Sand Lake Campground near Manistee area. We spent our days eating, playing ladderball, swimming & sunbathing, eating, playing games, fishing at Tippi Dam, eating, and just simply being near one-another.

Thought I'd share some of the phrases I heard often these past 4 days..... Marco....Polo.....Can I ride Grandma/Grandpa's bike?.....What can I eat?....Give us a point.....Hey - you're not playing, be quiet!.....I can't get the zipper done!....Nannnncccyyyyy.....What else can we make in a baggie?.....Who wants to be my partner?....Don't shine the light in my eyes....Don't play with the fire....Does anyone have to go to the bathroom?........Shut the door(or the zipper)....The water's cold.....Is the coffee ready?.....What a beautiful day!