Multitude Mondays

Today I am determined to write down what I'm thankful for, even if that's all it is - less or no pictures, no effort in trying to make it complete since the last time I took count of my blessings.  I find lately that my life and thoughts are overwhelmed with frustrations and hurt, with small mixes of joy.  I keep praying that God would give me the eyes and ears to see Him around me, to help me to see the blessings, but there is a strengthened foundation when I journal them in written form, otherwise they disappear with my next weary sigh.  Tonight as I sat in BSF, these are the blessings I scribbled on a paper.  Our lecturer said tonight, "Praise is the proper response of those rescued by God's grace."  This is my praise to You Father!  Thank you for rescuing me.

941.  being asked to lead 40+ kids in worship at Ezone with Jake & Isaiah.  No matter how weary I am, I never am weary of singing with joy and fun to my Father in heaven
942.  being one in spirit with gangly 5th gr. boys, self-concious 4th-5th gr girls, rambuncous 2nd 3rd gr boys and sweet K-3rd grade girls.....having fun and yelling
943.  seeing Jake serve and bless these kids at Ezone....he had a group of kids flocking to his table to play and watch Jenga...hearing Jake talk to them, encourage them, build them up, love them....then hearing in the van how much fun he had doing it - enough to make my heart burst!
944.  God's Word...pure and simple...where would I be without it?
945.  BSF....no matter how dry I sometimes feel the questions are, once at class - the opportunity to rethink, to ponder, to listen, to have a quiet enough space in my head to hear the Holy Spirit whisper into my heart things I need to learn
946.  family gatherings....I so take for granted being at a family gathering and having love shared freely and the commonality that everyone loves the Lord....
947.  each teenager who came to the Youth Worship practice...that they want to do something for the Lord....I pray that I can get past some of the critical things they say of the worship I lead and just gently guide them to grow in their walks in all areas of their lives
948.  good report of my dad's health - most recent check-up - a negative PSA #!!!
949.  my dad's smile TO me.....I love my dad's smile...he has permanent creases on his face where his smile lines are....but recently I stopped by their house to pick something up and my dad greeted me and something special happened....he said hello and I back and then I just grinned at him b/c he was so cute with suspenders on and he gave a grin back that I felt like was his joy at looking at me too....hard to explain....that he finds joy in me....
950.  Allie....her kisses goodbye on Sunday as we drop her off after church....her hugs
951.  Caleb & Sam Hodgson - for being such good friends to my girl, Maddie
952.  unexpected hug from a friend
953.  time spent up at Charis'....how I cherish our relationship
954.  walks along Crocus Trail w/ Amy....catching up...trying to help one another get active...
955.  MAC computer...(sorry window lovers)
956.  unexpected phone call from niece and nephew to share with their aunt how God orchestrates events to fill his purposes...
957.  coffee dates
958.  songs we can't get out of our heads...."Grovel, grovel..." "Go go go Joseph You Know what they say"...."Joseph whatcha gonna do?".....(our nephew and niece were involved in a school play for Joseph & Amazing Dreamcoat and since then we've been waking up singing songs.... even at Thanksgiving with the extended family you'd hear a tune be sung randomly throughout the day!)
959.  a person at church who always helps us tear down and pack up all the equipment....God has given me such a thankfulness for his quietness and servant's heart....how I can't look at him now without seeing him thru God's eyes!
960.  kids playing tricks on one another....Nate came down one morning totally oblivious that his sibling had drawn a mustache on his face in the night....

961.  fellow sister in Christ teaching me how to make homemade soap
962.  being around happily married couples...

I Thank Thee

O Thou whose bounty fills my cup,

With every blessing meet!

I give Thee thanks for every drop—

The bitter and the sweet.

I praise Thee for the desert road,

And for the riverside;

For all Thy goodness hath bestowed,

And all Thy grace denied.

I thank Thee for both smile and frown,

And for the gain and loss;

I praise Thee for the future crown

And for the present cross.

I thank Thee for both wings of love

Which stirred my worldly nest;

And for the stormy clouds which drove

Me, trembling, to Thy breast.

I bless Thee for the glad increase,

And for the waning joy;

And for this strange, this settled peace

Which nothing can destroy.

--Jane Crewdson (1860)

I Am a Disciple of Christ

A student in Jake's History Co-op Class, shared this quote and it takes my breath away.  How I want these words to flow from my lips and my children's lips and be lived out moment by moment.

"I’m a part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.
The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.
I’m a disciple of His and I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed.
My present makes sense.
My future is secure.
I’m done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.
I don’t have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded.
I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.

My face is set.
My gait is fast.
My goal is heaven.
My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear.

I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary.
I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus.
I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.
And when He does come for His own, He’ll have no problem recognizing me.
My colors will be clear for “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes…” Romans 1:16"
Don Ray, missionary to the Congo, 1940

The Background

I love the lyrics to this song by Lecrae.  We may not be pop stars, but I find myself still being a "performer"....without knowing how I got there, I find myself "performing" and grieved by how quickly I can become the focus instead of Him.  Let me be a trail of stardust leading to the superstar!


I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead

It's evident you run the show, so let me back down
You take the leading role, and I'll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs (Aye)
I don't need my name in lights, (Aye) I don't need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just going lose my soul?
And my ways ain't purified, don't live according to Your Word
I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard
So word to every dancer for a pop star
'Cause we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar
Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right
Praying the whole world would start embracing stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessin'
That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact
I'm who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar

I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead

Yo, I had a dream that I was captain of my soul
I was master of my fate, lost control, and then I sank
So I don't want to take the lead, 'cause I'm prone to make mistakes
All these folks who follow me, goin' end up in the wrong place
So just let me shadow you, just let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in You, 'cause I only trust in me
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothin'
You pulled my card, I'm bluffin', You know what's in my hand
Me, I just roll and trust you, You cause the dice to land
I'm in control of nothing, follow You at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
And man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content
I'll play the background, like it's an instrument

I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead

I know I'm safest when I'm in Your will, and trust Your Word
I know I'm dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain't got no time to play life's foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name?
And it's a shame, the way I want to do these things for You, yeet
Don't even cling to you, take time to sit and glean from You
It seems like You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it's 'cause she never heard of this

I could play the background
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead