1000 Gifts and Counting

We thank you, O God!!  We give thanks because You are near.

Psalm 75:1

I am so thankful for the big and little things as I clean and box up our belongings.  Here are just a few....

1094.  Large paper drawings that kids have drawn for me over the years that have served as the decoration in my bedroom.  Now they have to be preserved in a photo because the original is in bad condition.

1095.  Reminders on white shirts in my closet that this is real - it's not all in my mind or that all this work is for nothing.

1096. Seeing the boxes begin to stack up....

1097.  Friends who come over to help and work with us....that is a blessing as well...that we can work in the same room instead of working seperately throughout the house.....any time together is a blessing

1098. Pizza & slush to reward hard work!
1099. Blackboard where I can write the reminder for our family that we are bringing shalom into this chaos with our hearts and actions and words

 1100.  More friends!  They played the whole time, but that was a blessing too!

1101.  Handmade gifts that are treasured by us, covered in soot, but we are able to get mostly clean. (this head garland was made by Amy Cooper)

1102.  This rainbow silk was made by Amy Cooper and myself when we lived next to one another on Ash Street.

1103.  Risk frenzy in the midst of chaos....kids having game after game....all precipitated by Nater's constant requests of one and all, "Wanna play Risk with me?"

1104.  Seeing Nater decked out in knight/mosquito protection as he shoots bow.

1105.  Lessons God whispers into our situation as I begin in another room and uncover more soot.  How often we want to deny that there is any sin issue we need to address in our life (similar to Ted's insistance that there was nothing out of the ordinary going on in our house when I would complain of the dirty house or carpets) and also how when we start peeling back and taking spiritual stock of our heart - we begin to see how insidious sin really is and how prevealent it is (just like here in the classroom after I took down our 13 colony timeline).  Only then can we do the work to remove it - first we have to see it!

1106.  Amy B. & KC both supporting, praying, listening to me before I had shalom in this chaos
1107.  Yummy meal that Amy brought that we spread out for days!!
1108.  Sunshine - name and the person behind the name who guides me thru this process

 1109.  Jake's music echoing through the house as I work....makes me smile now! His song about time.

1110.  Natalie letting me borrow more Ray Vander Laan to listen to as I work!  Kids are also listening to him in other rooms.
1111.  Changing my focus off self and onto thankfulness and the reminder that in every circumstance I'm building His church and to be bringing shalom into chaos.

1112.  hearing things like "it's like the sky or heaven", "it's white like us after Jesus washed our sins away", "it's like the color of honey because remember Taste and See that the Lord is good!" coming out of my kid's mouths as they try to convince each other what color they should go with for their rooms

1113.  Time in the Word to refresh my soul....helping me to go to Him for all my needs

Hebrews 4:16 

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

1114.  Boys - amazing helpers anytime I ask!

1115.  Farmers Insurance - each time I start working in a new area of the house and see all the soot, I whisper how thankful I am for the insurance company covering this - without their help we'd be stuck living in it.  Which in turn - spurns me on to thank Christ each time as well, for the price He paid to wash my sins aways.....Where would I be without Him????

1116.  Washer, dryer and dishwasher  to clean things - each day all are loaded many times with sooty items to clean - every time I pull out something I'm blown away with thankfulness.

1117.  Chemical sponges - lifesaving tool to clean pictures!

1118.  Exhaustion at the end of the day

1119.  Soot.....I am thankful for it, for how it has reminded me once again of what truly is important in this life - what is lasting - what I want to focus on - not on things but on those He has put in my life to love and care for and for His Word!!

Ties You In Knots

Lately, I've felt tied up in knots because of all that seems to lay on my shoulders to prepare our home and family for what is just around the bend - a restoration company coming in to clean our home from top to bottom of soot.  The other day, as I was trying to help Isaiah and Ben work in their room, while I was working in Maddie & Nate's room, I could hear Jake in his room singing away and playing his guitar.    At one point, as I was rushing to go downstairs, I stopped at his door to tell him something he could do to help, but I held my tongue and just listened (totally the Holy Spirit at work!).  He was recording the drums for a song that he was creating, so I just laid on his bed and listened to the lyrics.  This is the song that he was working on and I think God is soooo COOL that He had Jake working on this song right at this time, right when I needed it!  When the song was over, I asked if he would just play it for me and sing so I could enjoy watching him and he did and I was overcome with emotions once again by how gifted he is and how beautiful it is to watch him sing and play.  The song is light-hearted and yet powerful - I love the lyrics at the end of the chorus: "She's the queen of your life, you don't wind her up, she ties you in knots."  I don't want to live this next week, this next month, any moment of my life - at the mercy of this lady and full of regrets....I want to live in the center of Christ's peace - the peace He gives me as I focus my heart and mind on Him. That is what Jake's music did for me that day - God reminded me through a child where my focus should be.  Since that day, my heart's been lighter - I randomly burst out the chorus as I'm cleaning and boxing and bless God throughout the day for this process, this mess, this home, these children, His Word and His love.

Enjoy and be blessed as well!

V1

Eight-thirty, stop by the nearby coffee shop.

Nine o'clock, head off to work.

And at ten, run through your hair with your ten fingers, again.

Ten thirty, finish the papers

Eleven, sip your cold mocha,

And twelve wish you were home...

Chorus

Typical days, spend them in the same ways in a different place;

Day after day, after day, after day, they all start to look the same.

Now if you look at the clock, you'll see she never stops,

She's the queen of your life, you don't wind her up,

She ties you in knots.

V2

Nine o'clock at night, fighting another fight.

Ten-thirty again, throw off the covers and head for the kitchen

After taking a drink, You head for the sink,

Where you look in the mirror again

Wondering if he'll ever be your friend?

Repeat Chorus~

Bridge:

Cut the days in half and you'll get 12 hours

Cut to the chase 'cause life isn't a race

So stop runnin' off the clock again

Time is a'chasin' we all know it

Twenty-seven thousand two hundred and five days

That's all it takes before you're 75 and still looking at the time

You wonder where did it go

You can let that old clock rule you with it's iron hands

Or you can take a stand

Just be a man

Repeat Chorus~

What Road are You On?

Francis Chan challenges, in a good way, those of us that justify our Middle Road journey, instead of walking just like Jesus walked.

Blessings

These past couple of days have held some really sad and scary events for our family and those we love.  A kind and giving man, who we had the privilege to know for a short time, gave into the enemy's lies, leaving behind so many who miss him and one of our dearest friend's was in a serious accident while on the job and could've died, but instead lives!!  Tonight I couldn't sleep, so I'm praying for our friend, Jeff, and his family and I'm praying for the Bailers and for all those whose lives have been touched by these tragedies and wonder where God is in these circumstances.  My heart is heavy for our church body as well.

I find myself drawn, compelled, to bless God...to bless Him for everything...each day...whether it holds joy or tragedy...He does love us.  This song has been on constant repeat in our home.  Blessings by Laura Story.

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We Can't Afford to Get It Wrong

The idea that we can understand God's ways or God's thoughts is so humbling, because we cannot...we don't even come close.  The idea that God would not judge anyone to an eternal hell is man's attempt to blind our eyes and close our ears.  Listen to Francis Chan all the way to the end - here is a teacher who humbly encourages everyone to seek the Holy Spirit's guidance through scripture - God's Word...God's thoughts.  This man is a talmid of Jesus.

  

Savoring God's Goodness to Me

Sometimes I feel like I can savor God's goodness to me...like I savor bacon ranch breadsticks from Tom's Pizza...or a Hersey Kiss as it melts in my mouth...or a much needed hug from my husband that just engulfs me.  Last night was one of those nights.  I did my BSF lesson and no "lightening bolts" or epiphanies occurred, went to BSF with my kids and went into my discussion group.  We were studying Isaiah 58 and 59...and came to the question about these verses...

v6 No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free and remove the chains that bind people.  Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and no not hide from relatives who need your help. 

And the Holy Spirit set to work on my heart, removing the scales from my eyes to see more.....if I had to describe it in words, it would be like magic in movies....how the words "imprisoned" "burden" "remove the chains" "hungry" "food" "homeless" "shelter" "hide" "need help" leapt off the page in brilliance and became more than the simple eye sees.  I began to think of those around me that are imprisoned and burdened by chains not visibly, but spiritually.  I thought of those around me who are soo hungry, not for tangible food necessarily but the food I was feasting on - God's Word.  I thought of those around me who are homeless, who don't seem to fit in at church like me and who need God's shelter so desperately.  I thought of how I "hide" from people who need my help - need me to be His LOVE.  I began to jot down those things next to those verses, so as to not let the Holy Spirit's teaching be lost in my daily life.....

Then we went into lecture and again, it was nothing spectacular that Vonnie said (even though she is an awesome teacher), but it was the spectacular work of the Holy Spirit, God's Word and a teachable spirit.  Isaiah 59 went on to say,

"It's your sins that have cut you off from God", 

and where my eyes had been blind before, the scales fell off and I just sat there while Vonnie lectured and pondered the truth of those words in my life.   Do I want to EVER be separated from God or cut off from Him?  Where do I fool myself in not recognizing that every aspect of my life AFFECTS my relationship with God?  Then I took a hard look at my life and all the "relationships" in my life that my sin (my hurt, my anger, my insecurity, my envy, my jealousy, my offense) slips into, which then cause me to react usually by withdrawing and then a rift starts to grow not only in those relationships but also in my relationship with God!  I sat there and filled out a whole notebook page listing areas where my sin creates chasms and then just sat there and wanted to cry at all the distance I was blind to between me and God.  It was a visual of vs 12

"For our sins are piled up before God and testify against us."  

My head (this world...the deceiver) tells me that in those human relationships, I'm doing the best I can and more readily acquiese to the consequences - the distance from people, but when I see them in the light of what it causes between me and God I cannot continue on the same path - I cannot - will not let the Deceiver blind me to the whole truth.

I couldn't wait to get in the car, to hear how God spoke to my kids this night, to share with them how He spoke to me and to seek their forgiveness for spewing poison within their hearing so many times....in my critical comments of others.  In the end I told them, "I love BSF and I think it's a great TOOL, but IT's not the GREAT thing....GOD is the GREAT thing....seeing how the HOLY SPIRIT TEACHES this stubborn heart takes my breath away....experiencing the WORD of GOD coming ALIVE and jumping off the page in brilliant light is the thing that makes me want to shout from the nearest hilltop and tell everyone I see how GREAT HE IS!!!!!"

Is This How the Unchurched see Christians??

I've never understood the whole push to invite people to church on Easter or Christmas....to me the story of God's love relationship with us is so amazing, every Sunday is an amazing opportunity to share with others. But this video is funny!

He Sees Us

Wherever we may be, or whatever our circumstances, the Lord Jesus sees them. Alone, or in company–in sickness or in health–by sea or by land–in perils in the city–in perils in the wilderness–the same eye which saw the disciples tossed on the lake, is ever looking at us. We are never beyond the reach of His care. Our way is never hidden from Him. He knows the path that we take, and is still able to help. He may not come to our aid at the time we like best, but He will never allow us utterly to fail. He who walked upon the water never changes. He will always come at the right time to uphold His people. Though He tarry, let us wait patiently. Jesus sees us, and will not forsake us.

~ J.C. Ryle

This quote seems to reinforce what I'm struck with time and time again in my study of Isaiah.  Nothing is outside of His hand, He is sovereign in all - good times and difficult times.  May the name of the Lord be praised!

His Eye

‎"The FALSE Christian shrinks from the eye of an all-seeing Savior. 

The TRUE Christian desires the Lord's eye to be on them morning, noon and night. 

They have nothing to hide." 

~ J.C. Ryle

May this be true of me and of those I love....that we DESIRE His eye on us at all times!

Home

“Start by making your own home a place where happiness and love abound,

through your love for each member of your family and for your neighbor.

Try to put in the hearts of your children a love for home.

Make them long to be with their families.

So much sin could be avoided if our people really love their homes.”

{Mother Theresa}

1000 Gifts and Counting.....

1076.  gazing into Addison's eyes while feeding her a bottle - like a gift from heaven amidst all the things to do

1077.  family of bluebirds spied by Nater, kids clustering around windows to see
1078.  blood-red capped woodpeckers
1079.  cooing coming from living room
1080.  girl fingers gently coaxing a beautiful melody from an old piano

1081.  kids sprawled out in bedroom as we discover what heaven will be like for us and those we love (reading Heaven for Kids by Randy Alcorn)

1082.  Isaiah 46: 1-2....Word revealing how idols are a burden and go with me right into captivity....v 3-4  that the true God carries me and saves me....the thought coming to my mind that he carried me on the road to Calvary
1083.  BSF - reminder that God is true to His word - so I can trust Him in different situations and there can build Euchristeo to see His Hand all the time
1084.  busy friend who sacrifices more of her precious time to help me get oldest boys to art
1085.  carmel mocha coffees to waken me on car drives
1086.  heart that seeks to apply - seeks to see faults and areas to grow every time I look in the Word - tender heart - for so long I felt it was a burden to have and made me "less" than everyone else.....I appreciate it now
1087.  discipline kids have to "attack" school in order to be done earlier
1088.  baby Addison's smiles and cooing
1089.  pain in knee getting better
1090.  remembering moment we realized we'd never see our dear 7 year old friend, Jeremiah, on this side of heaven again
1091.  heavy heart for Coopers that intensifies as I read through long-awaited letter...realizing how much I miss her "voice" in my life...you cannot capture that in Facebook or emails
1092.  Isaiah 49:4  "I replied, But my work seems so useless!  I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose.  Yet I leave it all in the Lord's Hand; I will trust God for my reward."....I was struck with how these could be my words all the time as a mother, or as a worship leader, or as a friend....but they are Christ's words!  All I need to do is follow His example.
1093.  children lost in a world full of history and God's faithfulness.....The Devil's Arithmetic by Jane Yolen

1094.  fat, stubby 7 year old hands....worn by the sun and dirt contrasted with soft, wrinkley 6 month old feet

1095.  the passages of life....loosing one's baby teeth...won't he always be my baby?  I think that of each of them!

1096. two cutsie-patutsie girls

1097.  Dr. Hart, her gentleness and attention to Nater who has strep once again

1098.  Ben-Jammin making lunch for family and when I suggest we should assign each older boy a day they must make lunch, he responds with a quote from Nacho Libre which makes me laugh....."They make me cook the stew and stuff and they don't even give me money for fresh ingredients."

1099.  Is there a gift in how obvious it can be when one guitarist is adored and the other is ignored?  I'm looking for the gift even though it hurts.

1100.  weariness and rest

1101.  listening to worship team share God-sightings in their lives thru teachings....pennies on the ground....lottery ticket winnings enough to provide food the remainder of the week....scripture speaking truth into my life

1102.  learning experience for Jake & Dysart boys in the Dansville Talent Show....to not rush themselves, setup until comfortable

1103.  words spoken by Jake before their song, "Broken Mess" to a gym of unexpected people....sharing the story of Hosea and his prostitute wife and how it parallels God's love for us

1104.  mother's heart that just wants everyone to see/hear what her kid can do - God teaching me it's not about his talent, it's about his heart - what he's willing to say in front of a crowd - how he's willing to proclaim the Lord's name unashamed.  Forgive me Lord for my wrong focus once again

1105.  daily reminder of how imperfect I am 

1106.  struggles at church for me.....constantly questioning what God is doing with having me lead worship....questioning why after 7 years at this church I still feel like a freak and as if no one wants to connect with me, even though I try so hard to step out and show interest in others.....then how God spoke thru BSF lesson this week....God is the only TRUE source of SECURITY....What do I hold onto?  What is my "blankee?"  What would it look life if I actually trusted God for my security?  All of it reinforcing once again that I need to walk in obedience, be a light, be an example of someone sold out for the Lord, despite the returns...

1107.  quiet house again Sunday pm as kids all left with Ted - it always strikes me first as a sign of my unimportance, but quickly it turned to an enjoyable time that I could putter with pictures and read blogs and download Ray Vanderlaan lectures to listen to

1108.  focus this week in worship at HUB....Hosea 6:6  I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices.  I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings.

1109.  laughing at kids' silly expressions and ramblings 

1110.  quotes that make me laugh...."they think I don't know a butt-load of crap about the gospel, but I do!"  (Nacho Libre)

1111.  battling the constant attack/whisper "What is it about you that keeps people away?"

1112.  unable to escape cloud of "God's forgotten me...I'm overlooked or un-encouraged"....walk in the doors of BSF with this struggle and leave totally different.....felt encouraged thru Gina reaching out to me with words of understanding...I'm not ODD and thru Vonnie's lecture from beginning to end

1113.  warm spots on living room floor where sun beats in and dogs rest

1114.  listening to my dad's voice over phone as he answers Nate's questions about his childhood and then getting to watch him draw Spencer Tracy for Nate's notebook

1093.  thankful that I followed Holy Spirit's leading to invite a family over for dinner after church.  After they left, we were all struck with how we take for granted God's blessings in our house (which they called a mansion),  our dinner (which young boy asked if it's like this all the time), and our peace and joy in each other

No Doubt

Let your Christianity be so unmistakable, 

your eye so single, your heart so whole, 

your walk so straightforward that all who see you 

may have no doubt whose you are, and whom you serve." 

~ J.C. Ryle

1000 Gifts and Counting.....

Isaiah 44:5

Some will proudly claim, "I belong to the Lord"

Others will say, "I am a descendant of Jacob"

Some will write the Lord's name on their hands

and will take the name of Israel as their own.

1026.  facebook....I know, I know...I've struggled to find anything good about facebook and have been a lurker just to see what friends are doing because I'm too busy to see them, but as of today that attitude has changed.....my beautiful friend, Amy Cooper, who lived next to us on Ash Street "friended" me.....it was wonderful to see what their family is up to, to see current pictures and to be able to "talk" to her
1027.  time Jake & I get to "teach" our neighbors, Steve and Jake, guitar.  It is so much fun and brings back so many memories for me.  It is so fun too to see how they've improved from week one - I wish I could video each week they play so they could see their progress!  Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to do this with Meier...
1028.  Isaiah coming down in the morning, carrying his ball glove.....Isaiah bringing his ball glove in the car to go to co-op....he's gearing up for his favorite season
1029.  Saturday cleaning (even when done on a Friday)....I just love the tradition....I have fond memories of it when I was a kid and now I'm so proud of my kids as I watch them tackle their "job" and I wonder if they get satisfaction from it besides just the reward of a movie or Wii
1030.  Valentine cupcake drop-off from the Weldons....cupcakes that looked like they came from a bakery and the blessing given to my children who were wanting something "special" to happen like it does for public school kids

1031.  red-tailed hawk on the side of the road that we spied on our way to the first soccer....being able to sit and soak in every detail despite the time crunch we were under and to enjoy His gift of nature
1032.  hand that reaches across seats to lay hold of me
1033.  excitement...fear...tangible...in early rising before the sun to prepare for a day of family skiing adventure...safety - I didn't get any broken bones, just sprained thumbs and torn ligaments in knee

1034.  those that plow roads
1035.  moment he knows he's annoyed me so he asks 1 more request of me and then laughs as I glare
1036.  safe travel on a snowing morning
1037.  heated seats
1038.  beautiful little girl in skinny jeans, face mask - throwing and catching like she's been practicing all winter

1039.  the Camera Shop and Chadd who was helpful when my new D7000 stopped focusing and who was patient as I stood in the store over 2 hours, testing one lens and then another
1040.  Johnny coming back to church....praying that he'll find his way back to the Father
1041.  Jake & Isaiah wanting to play for the worship at church
1042.  Bakers inviting us to a Spartan basketball game and the fun we had....I love watching Sparty do his thing!
1043.  visits with Charis....playing games with my kids

1044.  new camera D7000 with Sigma 18-250mm lens
1045.  January turkey day with family over to enjoy it with us
1046.  kids wrestling with Dad

1047.  bologna and Ben (don't ask!)

1048.  loving Addie as part of our day

1049.  God's Word and how it changes all our lives....Isaiah 44:5 and how the Holy Spirit used it in Jake's life

1050.  having to fight over my guitar with my eldest

1051.  fun with Addison's t-shirt - modifying it to read "My Great-Auntie is #1"

1052.  big brother who plays with little brother and gives him a chance once in a while at shooting a basket

1053.  donut making....making donuts like my grandma did and enjoying them all day

1054.  pizza making as a family...sharing stories with kids about our years growing up and always making homemade pizza on Saturday nights and episodes of Hee Haw

1055.  69 years with my Mom...a beautifully strong lady who loves the Lord and has encouraged all of us children to love the Lord too!  What a legacy her life is for us!!

1056.  can I say thanks for Blue Moon icecream?  Only if it's for the fact that now we all can warn others to never buy it!  It may look fun but it is not!!

1057.  playing Wii with Grandma and Grandpa and laughing!  Watch out Nate or Grandma will hit you again with her "racket"!

1058.  snuggling together

1059.  jeans that still fit, even if they are not my ideal size, life is too short to obsess about it
1060.  10 chapters a day - Horners Bible Reading System
1061.  alarm clock going off at 6a.m. - unable to ignore it when I know it signals time with HIM
1062.  Ted committing time in morning to read 10 chapters of God's Word
1063.  kitty cats who peer into windows begging for spoiling

1064.  kids who endure "Singin' in the Rain" for mom
1065.  opportunity at Tuesdays soccer to give friendship a chance with a fellow BSFer
1066.  little girl making my little girl welcome and befriending her
1067.  sermon on generosity and tithing - thankful that my pastor is willing to say hard things once in a while
1068.  yawning distance that seems to separate me from others at church...it is so uncomfortable and the enemy would love for me to self-focus, instead Sunday I stood in the uncomfortableness of it and didn't begrudge anyone their connections
1069.  how Holy Spirit works to lead me in choosing songs and how unknowingly they tie right into pastor's message
1070.  being willing to say "I miss you"....to admit I need him and need his time and attention
1071.  stepping out of my comfort zone to get to know Mitch....young adult who attends our church sometimes
1072.  BSF...how it builds routine into our lives of being in God's Word, how the questions bless my children and grow them, how the leaders there spur my kids on to go "FURTHER UP, FURTHER IN!"
1073.  so many lessons gleaned from the Word thru study in BSF this past month....I wish I had done a better job of journaling them here....but may there never be any doubt GOD is AT WORK!
1074.  Eurcharisteo....reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann VosKamp...meditating on giving thanks in ALL circumstances
1075.  being left behind on Sunday evening as kids all chose to go with Dad to play basketball...fighting off the feeling that I'm last on everyone's chosen list....sitting in the quiet house realizing I now have time to do my Gratitude list without feeling guilty.  Thank you Lord for letting me be last.