When's the Last Time You Used a Crayon?

Every year we get the kids wooden ornaments to color.  Some years we've had Grandma & Grandpa Sinnaeve with us, but this year we had Grandma & Grandpa Oesterle with us.  We had to cajol Grandpa to come color and he said, "Do you know the last time I held a crayon?"

Time does not diminish his skill though, he is still a good artist and we enjoyed our time huddled around the table.

 Ben was the first one done, you can call him "Speedy".

Nate was still hard at work at the end,  but his finished product was beautiful.

 Part of what makes the time together so enjoyable, is hearing the stories Grandma & Grandpa tell about their childhood.  We heard about what chores they had as a kid growing up on farms, one from a big family and one from a small family.  The differences between their mothers and they work they would do.  Hearing of raising, selling, killing chickens and trying to imagine Grandma as a little girl deathly afraid of chickens.   Imagining Grandma plucking chicken feathers all day long on butchering day.  We all sat around the table caught in the spell of Grandma & Grandpa's lives.  Someday my children will have a collection of ornaments and, most of all, memories to share with their children. 

Multitude Mondays - but on a Thursday

159.  the bluebird Ben spied at our feeders today
160.  love and fun of the kids playing football outside

161.  father in law who gives of his time and wisdom to help Ted in finishing the trim off in our bedroom

162.  husband who finishes a project that has been sitting for 6 years - putting up the trim in our bedroom
163.   Nate's little chubby fingers, they still have that "baby" aspect to them....I know one day I'll look at them and it will be gone.  Thank you Lord for the reminder to treasure each day.

164.  Mrs Lazet....years of piano instruction

165.  peaceful nights together as a family
166.  flannel sheets (still love them soo much)
167.  our woods and neighbors who let our kids tromp and explore all the time
168.  Grandma Sinnaeve and her heart to spend one on one time with each child at their birthday - my kids all look forward to going out with her
169.  comfy chairs
170.  books finished "Lady on a Donkey", "Tramp for the Lord", "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat"
171.  sweet neighbors...today was our last day on the book study we were doing together...I am so thankful for them both
172.  Elf movie - slushes - popcorn - family gathering
173.  advent time together as a family
174.  taking Allie to church with us on Sunday - she is like one of our own - I love her so
175.  spying a piliated woodpecker in our woods, how big & beautiful
176.  sledding, snow, wipeouts, friends, laughter, weariness
177.  My God is sooooo biggg!  Today He answered prayer, to work in the hearts of those in a meeting deciding the future of a young boy who's had a hard life, doing  the impossible!!! My God is soooooo biggg!!!

Slow Learner, Patient Teacher

I'm a slow learner, at least when it comes to photoshop. My sister is a patient teacher. This week, she took numerous phones calls from me on how to create the design changes on my blog, sent me a pluthera of emails detailing the steps to take, and all the while was patient and loving! God's gifted her with the talent and time to become a "master" photoshopper and blog designer. And He's gifted me in making her my sister! Thank you Charis!  (and I'm afraid to say - I think I'm getting it!)

Beautiful Lyrics....In The Bleak Mid-Winter by Christina Rosetti

Soaring, Running, Walking

In my quiet time this morning, I was encouraged by Him, who knows my inmost thoughts...

I was finishing a book by John Ortberg titled, "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat". The nineth chapter was talking about waiting and it said, "God's voice is never frantic. When you hear desperate thoughts, you can know it is not God speaking. You can wait in confident humility." And immediately I thought of the desperate thoughts from yesterday that were sending me into a tailspin....Those desperate thoughts may have began as a questioning thought of growing in Christ, but how they continued and how they became more and more desperate were not of Him....

Then he quoted the scripture from Isaiah:

Even youths will faint and be weary,

and the young will fall exhausted;

but those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength,

they shall mount up with wings like eagles,

they shall run and not be weary,

they shall walk and not faint.

And then Ortberg when on to teach:

      Flapping keeps you up in the air, but it is a lot of work....Gliding builds up enough speed, then coasts downward a while. It is much more graceful than flapping, but unfortunately it does not get the bird very far.  Soaring...only a few birds are capable of this....where they are capable of catching rising currents of warm air and without moving a feather can soar up to great heights.....Isaiah says that for those who wait on the Lord, times will come when they soar.....Sometimes in your life you will be in an era of spiritual soaring....Be very grateful.  Do all you can to stay in the stream of the Spirit's power - be very obedient as the Spirit guides you.....You are walking on the water.  You are soaring with the Spirit.  

     But there is another line in Isaiah's description.  Sometimes we are not soaring, but we are able to run and not grow weary.  If this is where you are, your life isn't feeling effortless.  You do not see a lot of miracles.  You have to do some flapping.  But with persisitence and determination you know you are running the race.  You feel frustration, but you also feel God's pleasure in your obedience....Do not try to manufacture spiritual ecstasy.  Do not compare yourself with someone who is soaring right now.  Your time will come.  Just keep running.

      Then there is a third condition that Isaiah describes.  Sometimes we will not be soaring, and we cannot run - because of doubt or pain or fatigue or failure.  In those times all we can do is walk and not faint.  This is not water-walking.  It is just plain walking.  All we can do is say, "God, I'll hang on.  I don't seem too fruitful or productive, and I don't feel very triumphant.  But I won't let go.  I will obey you.  I'll just keep walking.".....

       Sometimes in Jesus' life-as when he was on the Mount of Transfiguration or when he called his friend Lazarus out of the tomb-Jesus soared.....At other times-as when he wept over the defiance of Jerusalem, when he was frustrated with the slowness of his disciples....life was tougher.  yet he kept running....But when it came time to take the road to Calvary, he wasn't soaring.  When the cross was placed on his bruised and bleeding back, he wasn't running.  He walked.  He was a young man, but he stumbled and fell that day.  All he could do was get back up and walk some more.

      Sometimes walking is all we can do.  But in those times, walking is enough.  Maybe it is when life is the hardest, when we want so badly to quit, but we say to God, "I won't quit.   I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I'll take up my cross.  I'll follow Jesus even on this road." Maybe God prizes our walking even more than our soaring and our running. ...

       We have some very fast runners in our world.  We have some eagles that soar much higher than we can see.  It is a hard thing to be a walker when you are surrounded by racers and eagles.  But sometimes walking is the best we can offer God. He understands all about that.  Walking counts too.

What a beautiful reminder to me this morning that it's not all about the soaring....I've read this scripture so many times, have it highlighted in my Bible, but I think more often than not, I always left it thinking, "When will I soar?  Why am I not soaring?"  But now, I have a whole new appreciation for it!  Jesus soared, Jesus ran, Jesus walked and so will I.  I will never stop.

Sojourning....

I feel as if God has been pressing in a truth on my heart for the past few weeks. Or maybe I'm just under attack? For someone who has sought after God for so long, why do I still not recognize the voice speaking into my heart?

Last week at BSF a question cut me to the core. It asked, "In what ways are others experiencing an abundance of spiritual blessings through His presence in you?" and I honestly had a difficult time answering it....an abundance of spiritual blessings....His presence in me....the cutting truth is that I don't even see my life touching others enough to have blessings flow - my life revolves around my own walk w/ Christ and my family, by nature very introverted...which led me to the heart stopping question of is His presence really in me then.... because if His presence is in me shouldn't my life be more extroverted then for His blessings to flow out of me?

Then after answering that question with all the sense of "failure" it brought me, I went to lecture and was cut to the core again...."the chief work of the Holy Spirit is to shine the light on Christ. The focus is always Christ. To know when something is the true work of the Holy Spirit, you just have to ask the question is the testimony about Christ or about me?"

Thoughts of this blog, of leading worship at church, of teaching my children at home, of being a wife, a daughter, a friend...of all that I do brought me to tears because none of it is a true testimony of Christ - too often, without me even realizing it, it becomes about me. This is not a new revelation to me, it just hurts to realize I haven't grown, haven't changed, haven't become more of Him and less of me.

We have friends who are on fire for the Lord and are bringing people to knowing Christ, just through life and sharing with them. I feel so blessed to see them being used by God, yet how am I being used? When have I ever led someone to knowing Christ?! It's hard to not follow the despair that my Christian life is nothing when I examine these areas of lacking blessings.

So, with conviction, comes repentance and then change....Lord - how do change my life, my heart, my attitude, this blog, my service at church to be a testimony of Christ? This is my journey right now, this is my prayer, cry and work. If I was to pass away this day, would He be pleased with the walk I've led or would He say, "Charli, you missed so many opportunities I created to bless others by sharing me... You tried to know me, but you totally missed the mark."

May it never be! Press in on my Lord, until I do the work You've called me to do. Refine me in the heat of conviction from my impurities....Mold me and make me into a reflection of You.

Soli Deo Gloria! (To God alone be the glory!)

Multitude Mondays

138. ladies at BSF...I was brought to tears this last week, just listening to their hearts as they answered questions, how they sojourn with me to grow closer to God with everything they have, that is how the body of Christ should look
139. sitting in our living room after BSF this last week, going around and hearing how God spoke conviction and teaching into each of our children's hearts
140. the question from my hairdresser, asking how my kids are doing, and I thought by the world's standards - I don't know, but in God's eyes - they are doing good.
141. beautiful snowflakes falling Tuesday night
142. traditions....Mary's starpath, Mary's First Christmas, Jesse Advent Tree

143. a dark room, Christmas tree lights, sparkling ornaments - knowing each ornament represents the history of our lives together

144. another year with my now 12 year old, his gentle spirit, his love for God and others, his determination to surrender his desires and be a reflection of God more and more at his age - how he challenges me!

145.  cousins....
146. shared smiles of how cute Nate is - how he's growing up and saying the cutest things or doing the cutest things - I often smile at him and look across the room and Isaiah will be smiling too and we both just shake our heads
147. boys playing football in the yard - falling in dogpoop and having to come in and change at least two times
148. homeschooling....freedom to slow our lives down this month, to focus on the heart and to spend time making things with our hands for others...
149. the click, click, click of Annie's nails at night on our unfinished bedroom floor
150. peaceful Sunday morning

151. good friends, cookies, laughter, frosting, tears, hearts shared, worshipping together, praying together
152. Theo's creative cooking that is so wonderful and his heart to thank my folks for the meat that we serve on our table weekly
153. Moms and Dads....

154. blooms on my Christmas cactus...the expectation of these blooms all year bursts into joy when I glimpse a flower! How beautiful!

155. toys, plans to play, set aside to first give God their attention

156.   flannel sheets
157.   husband who listens to me when I cry
158.  conviction....